Building Healthy Relationships for Extraordinary People.

Why do some people like to hurt ?

Why do some people like to hurt ?
hi Aviva,
hope you are well.
i met this girl few years ago, and since I moved to the city where she lives, we connected and started seeing each other. I liked her and wanted to have a serious relationship. She feels comfortable going out with me, spending the weekend and evenings out. However, no sex or intimacy. I respectfully kept a distance until she is ready to commit. 
She recently told me she isn't ready and wants to take it easy and no rush. We have been seeing each other for about 2 months. 
Yestersay as we met she said I was "structured". I was away on vacation that I went alone. She stopped returning my texts the night before my return. Texted her back when I landed and no reply. Tried her on Facebook whatsapp and nothing. Today she said that I should have called her instead of texting her to ask her why she's not returning my whatsapp messages.... She then said she doesn't want commitment. 
Now I feel That I need to let her go. Can't wait for someone to make up their mind. Can't take anymore hurt and pain. Have a senior job I need to focus on. 
Why is it some people like to make things complicated? Was she using me as I used to take her to fancy places and I always paid. I always got in touch, she never initiated, it never bothered me, but now I look back and wonder.
thank you
Level 2 (XP: 500)
5 years ago
Hello Charbel, and thank you for sharing. One thing i feel people should really pay attention to when meeting someone new,is what they share with you in the initial stages. You need to be true to yourself and not settle for anything less that what you are ready for if you know what that is. If you wanted a serious relationship, you probably should of moved on as soon as she told you she was not ready. No need to waist your precious time when you can fall in love with someone who "IS" ready.

Re; texting- I believe that personal old school way of communicating is best. Its very draining to sit there and type when you can be so efficient with delivery in speaking in about 20 seconds. A phone call is always more personable and a good person appreciates this. My opinion and advice is to really pay attention to the red flags, as this girl was definitely not right for you and she did not have honerable intentions based on what you shared with me in your post. Feel free to get in touch if you wish to truly find a great partner who IS ready for love.